What Can You Do for Yourself?

(Excerpt from my book “Betrayal of Innocence, Finding the Way back to Me”)

I learned a long time ago that I have the power to change my life simply with changes in my thought pattern, changes in my perception and changes in my habits.  And whether my thoughts are far fetched or reality, they have made a dramatic difference in the way I feel about my life and how I view most everything that is presented to me.

Life has become a lot easier and yes, most, but obviously not all of the time, I find myself feeling a lot more sublime and joyful inside – the way all of us can, and are meant to feel.  My re‑learning and re‑programming has been working for me for many, many years now and for as long as it does, I will continue my way!

Why do we think that we have the right to be angry and why do we allow anger to take hold of us? Why do we think we have the right to be bitter, or resentful, or to accuse others of wrong doing? Where did this all come from? Why do we think that just because we have been taught by others that this is the way to be, or think or do, that all of that teaching is necessarily true?

What does anger get us? Does bitterness ever serve us? What is our life really meant to be? Is there a different way of being then what this generation and previous ones have taught us?

Our so-called negative emotions (and our positive ones too) are just what we decide they are going to be. There is not some invisible mechanism somewhere that makes us feel, think or be anything. It is always what we decide. We decide if we are going to have a good day or a bad day. Yes, I do agree that sometimes (and sometimes it feels like a lot of the time) that we really don’t feel all that wonderful.

We have lots of things that seem to be preventing us from being our natural, happy serene self. But honestly, all of those things are what we are making them be – no one else – just us. Please know that I am not sharing this with you to in anyway fill you up with more guilt or shame – useless feelings to say the least and if I may so absolutely unnecessary.

So what if we have lots of bills, so what if we don’t think our bodies are just what we would like them to be. So what if we have some habits that we would like to change. Instead of dwelling on all of this – get busy! And I don’t mean get busy trying to force change outside of you. Get busy working on bringing back joy and serenity into your life by changing your insides – your heart and soul.

Find ways to be good to yourself and don’t focus on the “what we think are the wrongs in anyone else”.

I know for myself there have been plenty of times in my life that even when I really seriously tried to think of what would give me joy, it didn’t seem that there was anything but I now know that it’s about digging deep inside and finding out what’s really there. It’s about learning, educating your self, and gathering all the tools that are out there waiting for you so that you don’t feel pressured and frazzled and at your wits end. It’s about making positive choices that will benefit you, and in so doing benefit all around you. It’s about having the courage to ask for help when you need it but also having enough belief and faith in your self to not be negatively influenced by others – just take the positive and run with it!

It’s about being good to you; being patient, loving and kind to yourself in whatever form that may take. Find a book, find a friend, an experience, and start with just the first step. Know that there is a God and that we weren’t born simply to suffer and die. Know that life is nothing short of a miracle and that when we don’t feel that miracle, it doesn’t mean that it’s not there – it’s just hiding hoping that you will come find it.

Know that when we feel that our schedules don’t allow us the time to be good to ourselves, that we set our own schedules – that much we are in control of. Know that life is meant to be a loving experience. For myself, when I feel my lowest, when I dig right down to the root of the problem, most times I find that I am allowing myself to feel guilty about something. I am allowing myself to feel less that adequate and less than what I really am, or I imagine that I am not loved.

I know that I never have anyone else to blame for my worries or my thoughts about doom and gloom but myself. I work hard at putting as many positive things in front of my face as I can find. I work hard at allowing all of the wise people in my life to speak to me – whether it be simply with one of my favorite authors or an uplifting TV show, or an audio tape, or a visit out with a friend, or a trip to Tim Horton’s, I have learned to take advantage of what ever works for me.

The most important thing that I have found to help me get over the blues is to use my gift of writing to find out what’s going on inside of me. When you allow it, your inner voice comes out screaming to be heard. It’s impossible to get in touch with yourself if you don’t know what your self is really saying.

Find a means to let your voice out in what ever form that may take – writing, painting, dancing, singing, sculpting, crafts. It matters not the vehicle that you use, but choose one! Choose to first believe that your life is valuable and precious, and not to be wasted, and then proceed from there.

Know that the process may be slow at first but as you take each step, it builds on itself. Know that you will have a lot of negative people in your life trying to pull you back to being who they are used to knowing you as, but keep going – this is your life! Know that there will be times that you will feel like you’re not making any progress, but have faith and things will come to you.

Seek out a mentor to help you along your way. Find someone that you admire and borrow from their wisdom, but know that your critical answers and the keys to your happiness do not, and cannot come from anyone but you. God gives us lots of presents; the beauty that surrounds us is there for all to see and enjoy, but so often we are so caught up in the worries of the world that that stuff becomes invisible to us. We need to open our eyes and only look for the beauty and it will present itself – we can’t see it, if we don’t believe that it is there.

You have a gift – find it! Use it! Enjoy it! And live this life to its fullest. Never mind what’s happening next door or down the street, or at work, or in another country. You are your own little world and when you sort out that world, everything else will fall in to place.

Do you really think that you were born to have everything handed to you? That someone or something would come along to magically make everything all better? I sometimes wish that were the case, but would anything really mean anything then? I don’t think so. We have to work for our serenity and joy; otherwise it does not fill us up. The world does owe us a living, but the only catch is, we have to do something in order to receive it, we have to work for it. If only wishing it would make it so, but it does not.

When we find the key and unlock the door, and stop thinking that someone else, or something else can make us happy, then we discover our own inner power. So what if you do have an ache or pain, or you feel that you don’t have enough money to go around, or you think you have more work to do then one person can possibly handle – it doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter if the rest of the world is falling down around your ears. It only matters what’s going on inside of you.

If your inner world is all bright and shiny and full of spectacular feelings and thoughts, you become one of the precious beings that the rest of the world ends up depending on. Could you imagine if everyone in the world was full of gloom and doom at the same time? Then it would be a very dark place to live in. Thank God that there are people around us that have found the answers for themselves and will help us to find our way to our bliss when we are ready to take that journey. Thank goodness that there are a lot of opportunities out there for each and every one of us just waiting to be sought out.

But you must not sit around waiting for opportunities to come and find you; you must get off your duff, get out there, and find them. Start getting out there, by getting in there, inside of yourself first. You must listen to that tiny little voice inside you until it becomes a roaring, screaming powerful ally. Just because 50 million other people might tell you something, it doesn’t mean that they are necessarily right. Have belief in yourself first and foremost above all others. Let your inner guide give you the guidance that you so desperately seek. The old cliché that says “the answers are inside of you” is absolutely and unequivocally true!! Believe in yourself because others certainly won’t if you don’t believe it yourself first. Believe in the miracles and finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow because it’s all there just waiting for you. Be the example of light and shining love and the world will follow…

Don’t sit around waiting for your ship to come in – call in the tug boats and use a heavy chain and haul that sucker in! Don’t sit around looking at the world and criticize what’s wrong and see everything that you think should be changed – accept the way the world is and know that it’s that way for a reason – let it be! Just work on you. Have faith that all you need to do is change your inner world and amazingly everything else falls into place. I guarantee it! God guarantees it!

Let it all hang out – grab the gusto – take risks. See the birds and their innocent faith that all will be looked after. They just know that they will be provided with all that they need because they look for what they need and always find it. They don’t worry about how long their lives will be, or if anyone will love them. They don’t worry about what’s happening with everyone around them and who died recently and who will die next. They don’t worry about where they’re going to sleep tonight, or what they will wear tomorrow, or if it will rain – they just fly, and soar and be.

Breathe in, breathe out (and even this happens automatically), and then proceed from there by simply putting one foot in front of the other. Put a spring in your step, and a smile on your face (and at first until it becomes a habit, force yourself if you have to) and build your dream. Get what you need to fill your inner being and don’t worry about anything.

I recently read a very wise quotation – “You can’t change the past, but you can certainly ruin the present by worrying about the future” – I love it. I have committed it to memory and I know I will play that particular tape in my head as many times as I need to, to remind myself that I don’t want to ruin “my present” which is my gift, nor anyone else’s for that matter.

Be aware with each experience that you have – have your eyes open and always listen with love but notice how a lot of people live their lives sadly and realize that you don’t have to live that way if you don’t want to. Notice the negative conversations, the judgment about others, the declarations that you will hear about “how awful things are” or “how weird that person is” or “this person is”. Or “did you hear about what happened to so and so – isn’t that awful” or “isn’t that scary”. Or you will hear “so and so just died, isn’t that sad” – “he or she was so young” or “he or she was 82 years old and had such a hard life”. Ask yourself – at the end of hearing all of this, do you come away feeling like gees life is so wonderful or do you come away thinking – sigh, why is life so terrible?

Think about it for a moment. If the conversations were different – if you were hearing about all the wonderful things that happened to so and so, or “how wonderful this person is” or “that person is” or “so and so died young, but brought so much love into this world and is on to an even better one” or “so and so died at 82 and even though it may seem that they had a hard life, God knows what he or she is doing and all that happens is for our ultimate good”, what would you think then, and how would you feel? Would you not come away from that experience feeling more positive and being more prepared to pass that on to others? Is that not what you would rather hear and have happen? Then start playing that part in life. Thinking and acting positive does work.

You cannot change others, but you do have the power to change the world simply by just being all that you can be – isn’t even just the thought of that extremely exhilarating?

Yes, spread the word – spread the feeling – spread the love. Live, love and be happy and you know why – because you can, and why would you not want to? Be, do and give and don’t be afraid of what will happen later today, or later in your life because right now is all that we have and if we work to enjoy right now, than we do end up having it all.

Let the joy into your life, and feel the love that is everywhere! Focus on changing your thoughts, changing your words, and changing your life. Decide which side of the fence you want to sit on. Focus on the beauty of the birds flying around your home – not what they will destroy; focus on the wonderfulness and beauty in children, and not the sticky fingerprints that they may leave on your glass coffee table. Focus on the beauty of your household ornaments, and not the dust that they collect. Focus on the wonderful meals that you are able to prepare and share with your family and friends, and not how much work you will have to do before or after.

Focus on the journey, and not what you think you need out of life. Make your plans and follow through with action but do not be attached to the outcome. Change your mind, change your attitude, and be willing to accept what comes your way – don’t be attached to the ending but only be attached to living your life with love, joy and happiness and no matter what life hands you, you will be able to handle it with peace, love and joy – I guarantee it!

A special friend of mine recently sent me some beautiful thoughts in an e-mail the other day –

The miracle isn’t that I finished . . . the miracle is that I had the courage to start.

And I would add to that, whether you finish or not is not really important so long as for the whole journey, you act with love in your heart for in the end (which is really only another beginning), that is all that really matters.

In summary, you are the only one who can make sure that you enjoy your precious life – stop hiding your real self and discover who you truly are!


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Author: inlightable

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