Short answer is – everywhere!
But of course, I have a lot more to say on the subject and yes I have a very big smile on my face at the moment.
I have always been the inquisitive type and for years and years, I thought my middle name was why. Questions, questions and more questions, I just couldn’t get enough answers. And many times, I got myself in trouble over and over again asking the wrong question at the wrong time – lots and lots of controversy and drama. I discovered in a lot of cases, I got my answers but then I would get a different answer for the same question from a different source. As I moved through life, I seemed to get more and more confused . So very quickly, I think somewhere in my early twenties, I seriously mentally fell apart at the seams. If you want more details on that, check out my book on the “Other Resources” page “Betrayal of Innocence, Finding the Way Back to Me” – all the gory details are in there (spoiler – it does have a happy ending). What I am leading up to is, I needed help and of course, I didn’t know who or what to believe or where to turn, so I started reading any psychological, self-help books that I could get my hands on.
The good news is, as stated earlier, help is everywhere. Obviously, you have to sift through some of the well-intended, misleading authors, but when you strike gold, you know it and I definitely struck gold! I have been reading off and on for forty plus years so I can’t give you a list of everyone, but here is a list of the ones that made the biggest difference in my life.
|Wayne Dyer was an internationally renowned author and speaker in the fields of self-development and spiritual growth.||– Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life|
– Happiness is the Way
|He was the “Father of Motivation”.|
|Louise Hay was an American motivational author and the founder of Hay House. She authored several New Thought self-help books.||– You Can Heal Your Life|
– The Power is Within You
|She was my first introduction to ending my suffering.|
|Byron Katie is an American speaker and author who teaches a method of self-inquiry known as “The Work of Byron Katie” or simply as “The Work.||– Loving What Is|
– Four Questions that Can Change Your Life
– I Need Your Love, Is That True?
|Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle are the greatest influences in my life.|
|Gerald Jampolsky is a Child and Adult Psychiatrist and a graduate of Stanford University School of Medicine. In 1975, he founded the first Center for Attitudinal Healing, in Tiburon, California.||– Love Is Letting Go Of Fear|
– Change Your Mind, Change Your Life
– Goodbye to Guilt
|Gerald’s son, Lee Jampolsky gave a presentation at one of my events and he, like his dad, is very inspirational!|
|Bernie Siegel is an American writer and retired pediatric surgeon, who writes on the relationship between the patient and the healing process.||– Love, Medicine & Miracles|
– Peace, Love & Healing
|I used to fall asleep, relaxed and restful listening to Bernie’s recordings.|
|Eckhart Tolle is a spiritual teacher and author, born in Germany and educated at the Universities of London and Cambridge.||– The Power of Now|
– A New Earth
|Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle are the greatest influences in my life.|
|Marianne Williamson is a bestselling author, political activist and spiritual thought leader.||– A Return to Love|
– The Gift of Change
|Big supporter of a Course in Miracles.|
Actually reading, watching movies/videos and listening to voice recordings are only some of the ways we can use to help ourselves feel better. My experience has been that absolutely everyone I have ever met has always given me something and believe it or not, they always get something from us too whether it is intentionally given or not. The trick is to realize this and be aware of it and be open to giving and receiving. You know what they say, “a stranger is just another friend you haven’t met”.
“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” Dr. Wayne Dyer
I have learned so much from Byron Katie’s teachings and in one of her books or presentations, she talked about doing some work with some maximum security prisoners in San Quentin, men who had been given life sentences for murder, rape, and other violent crimes. She made it very clear that one of those prisoners had something to offer her and she in turn, had somethig to give back. In the midst of her presentation, he started shouting from the back of the room, “You are ugly!”
Right away, most of us would think that guy has nothing to give anyone but you will come to see that that wasn’t the case.
We probably would have tried to have him thrown out of the room or at the very least, we would have attempted to put him in his place and do our best to try to hurl a bigger insult to try and one-up him. Or maybe, depending on one’s personality, some of us might just feel embarrassed and leave the room.
But not Katie – she just quietly and sincerely asked exactly what he meant by that and asked for more details. She asked “what can we do with me, I need your help”. He explained that he didn’t like the way she was dressed. And Katie said to the rest of the room, “My goodness, this man is so honest”. He also gave her ways of remodeling herself that were very useful. “Dump the glasses”, he said. “Get contacts.” Katie actually received some very valid and creative input about how she could make some positive changes to her appearance. At the end of her discussion with him, Katie announced to the room, “If you want to know the truth about something, just ask this guy”.
Most of us so-called normal, rational people would never have got to a genuine discussion stage with a person like this. We would have been too busy in our minds telling ourselves that he was useless and had nothing to offer – that’s so our conditioning. So that’s what we would have received and we in turn, would have given more of the same back.
“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist persists.” Eckhart Tolle
Believe it or not, we always get the kind of help we need for our respective stages of evolution. If we were genuinely interested in the person (which means egos a little less inflated) who was suffering, and in prison for the rest of his life, and not lost in our own pain and self doubt, we would have received and given in a different way. But if we can’t see past our own egos, we would have experienced a different situation, than Katie did. I don’t think she has had an ego for years now.
“The thoughts we choose to think are the tools we use to paint the canvas of our lives.” Louise Hay
But the point is, we get the kind of help we need as it is related to our level of stuckness. When we receive help that makes us uncomfortable, sooner or later, we go inside and try to figure out why we are having unpleasant experiences a lot of the time because we get tired of the suffering.
“Until we get to the point where we’ve had enough of things that hurt and long more than anything for a peaceful love, we are bound to take painful roads. We are destined to play out our frivolous disasters until we declare ourselves finished and done with them. How much pain do we have to suffer before we are sure we want no more? As much, it seems, as we have to until we don’t.” Marianne Williamson
I have heard before, when we have suffered enough, we start to wake up – suffering brings enlightenment. It is still help even if we don’t see it as required. Louise Hay always taught that we get the experiences we need and now that I think about it, so does Katie and Eckhart Tolle.
When the student is ready, the right type of teacher presents himself/herself/itself. Sometimes the teacher is Pandemic – sorry, just had to throw that in there.
“Diseases can be our spiritual flat tires. Disruptions in our lives that seem to be disasters at the time, but end by redirecting our lives in a meaningful way.” Dr. Bernie Siegel
So in summary, help is here, there and everywhere. Even, my attempts at creating this blog and sharing it with you, is one of the places I hope you are/will receive help. Remember if you are having a dark night of the soul, reach out and connect. Sometimes all it takes is just knowing that you are not alone and that you have options.
Until next time Inlightables, keep connecting and re-connecting and you will receive the help you need – onward and upward…
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