Hello you wonderful person you!
I am allowing myself to be transparent, genuine, and sincere; to hide nothing and have no secrets, and no hidden agendas. I am freely opening myself up to you so we can learn from each other, support each other, heal together and from this moment on, journey through life a little closer to each other than we were before – here is what has come to me to share with you today…
Just like everyone else on this planet, I have experienced a multitude of so-called sad and happy events in my life and for a lot of years, when I would experience one of these unhappy events, it would be full of a lot of distressing thoughts that would in some cases disable me for a period of time. I would experience all of the uncomfortable feelings of sadness, and feelings of being unloved and uncared for and alone. Suffice it to say, I was again taking another scary ride on that proverbial, emotional roller coaster that unfortunately seemed to be happening more frequently than ever.
And then one day, after returning from a session with my counsellor, I had kind of a revelation or epiphany about myself and my life. It seemed, all of a sudden, I had a knowing deep inside of me (not a logical thinking thing or a feeling that this must be because most people would tell me so) that life was good and even wonderful most of the time despite what would be happening outside of me. This time it felt so different than previous times when I would think to myself – aha, that’s why! I prayed to God that this time it was not just a fleeting feeling. I felt like all I had to do was to decide to focus on what I had been given that I could use to make me happy. I knew that we all had, at our disposal, various and different kinds of tools from the very first moment that we first enter this world. But the catcher I think was that that something, could not be dependent on any one specific attachment to any one person’s life, it must rely solely on me – all that I have inside of me in my heart and soul. I had to allow my heart to pound with excitement and vitality and exuberance for life because that is what it actually wanted to do anyway. It didn’t have to be forced; it just had to be allowed.
I had to learn to not be so afraid of myself! I had to believe in myself that day, the next day and all the days thereafter. I had to learn to always keep my head held high and walk proudly. I knew that there were lots of times that others in my life had “seemed” to disappoint me and I had “allowed” myself to become very depressed and very sad. I had allowed myself to hold on to thoughts that I was not good enough or bright enough or special enough. I had succumbed to feelings of desperation and sadness believing that it had all been unfair and out of my control and would have thoughts like, “what’s the point anyway?” I had felt like an innocent child who was continually being unfairly mistreated and would have thoughts that life is just a cruel joke. Most of the time, it would seem to me that I was being good person and working hard and trying my best and then BAM, the world would fall in on me with all of its “seemingly” uncontrollable forces.
But now I know that the key to allowing less pain to enter one’s life is that the only one in this life that anyone is given to depend on and rely on and the person that will never disappoint you if you support him/her is you. You are the one that you have been given that no one else can ever control unless you “allow” it. You can take control of your feelings, emotions and thoughts – this is such a powerful discovery! Your task is to never betray yourself – stand strong, look after yourself, admire you, look up to you – know how wonderful you are! You need to cuddle yourself, love yourself and give yourself everything that you need and deserve. Truth be known, you do not “need” anyone else! You are someone worth loving and cherishing and you do not need others to prove this to you. If you happen to get validation from outside yourself cool, but don’t be attached to it because many times it is fleeting, and can switch at a moment’s notice. Don’t take my word for it, try it for yourself and you will slowly but surely discover exactly what I have. This is the hero’s task for you to accomplish in this lifetime. You can give yourself all that you need and want. You have always been capable of this but you have been a victim of negative brain washing just like I was. There are a lot of well-intentioned teachers in this life who are still asleep and unwittingly passing on their asleepness – i.e. parents, relatives, friends, co-workers, etc. etc. You will prove to yourself that you do not have to suffer through all of life’s haphazard happenings – just go with the flow. Let yourself know the facts and not the story our minds (and other’s minds) try to feed us. No longer will your suffering increase exponentially as each painful event builds on the previous one to give you even more pain.
You will see, as I did, that a lot of your thoughts play a big part of why you seem to end up feeling and acting sadder as each event unfolds. You will realize that there is no ambiguous creator being unfair to you. No longer will you have thoughts like “God is not being fair to me – he or she has forgotten about me – I keep trying to be a good person and he is forgetting me – it’s not getting better the way I had always hoped that it would.” You won’t think “Oh, God I am being good – you’re not there – you don’t really care about me or even know I exist that is if you even exist”. I know that these were some of thoughts that I was having.
And it’s your thoughts that can literally poison you – when we are asleep, we have the tendency to unknowingly “allow” ourselves to become overwhelmed. You have been carrying the hurts from the past and envisioning the pain that you thought would probably be there in the future. Do not allow yourself to be fooled any longer! Take every second of every day and treasure it like savoring the taste of the most delicious delicacy. Do not miss the joys that are always there – the whisper of the wind, the songs of the birds, the smiles of your friends and family and yes, even the strangers in your life who also contribute so much if you just take the time to notice and reflect. Whether it be the sun covering you with its sparkle and warmth, the soothing life-giving rain, the glittering snow on the ground, or the wonderfulness of a cool autumn day, it’s all there for you. It always has been but when you are lost in the fictitious, sporadic and chaotic thoughts that continually come and go, you are wearing blinders.
You will learn that you can put a smile on your face whenever you choose to. Know that when you choose to be a happy and whole person, you will also be giving so much to the people you love too and the people that you share life with each and every day – whether at home, at work or just simply walking down the street or through the malls. Choose to see the beauty and you will see it – Wayne Dyer said “seeing isn’t believing, believing is seeing”. Believe that it’s your choice and no longer choose not to. Or obviously, you can just believe that none of this is true and continue to suffer. I am sure you have heard, the definition of insanity, “So long as you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got”.
Allow yourself to experience and taste all of life even if some of the tastes are not to your liking. Understand that you can weather any storm and develop a taste, or at least a tolerance, for all the spices in life – even a storm can be a beautiful awe-inspiring event. Realizing that the pain that you have had in your life has more been caused from the hurts you have helped to collect inside yourself and not the actual events themselves. For me, I know that as each new thing transpired in my life, I was busy making sure to mix in and stir vigorously all of the past hurts to the point that the actual event itself would have been insignificant without the added ingredients.
This brings to mind, a quote from a world famous spiritual teacher and best-selling author, Eckhart Tolle:
“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is. There is the situation or the fact, and here are my thoughts about it. Instead of making up stories, stay with the facts. For example, “I am ruined” is a story. It limits you and prevents you from taking effective action. “I have 50 cents left in my bank account” is a fact. Facing facts is always empowering.”
Trust in the divine universe and what it is bringing you – it is for love, wisdom and caring whether one gets to logically comprehend every situation or not. It’s what’s meant to be. You are who you are meant to be and now is the time to start to experience the miracle of life! You are stronger than yesterday. Keep on doing what you have to – to get what you need. The other choice is simply unacceptable and too painful. Keep in touch and stay connected – onward and upward…
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