Today, again is the first day of the rest of our lives…
One day, a few years back, I had a kind of epiphany that I didn’t really have any genuine moves of my own. As I would move through each day and each experience and each situation presented itself to me, I would re-act to situations kind of automatically that would not present the real loving, caring person that normally I would consider myself to be. Of course, thank goodness, this wasn’t in every situation, but only in the ones where I felt threatened, not supported, or attacked. Then through experience, self-awareness, and lots of support from the many wonderful teachers that I have been blessed to be exposed to, I realized that I did not have to continue to act in a robotic state, and that I had options.
As each and every moment of the day is re-created, realize that you have an opportunity to be born again but this time, you can create yourself knowingly. You can select all new and healthy triggers just for you. This time you can choose triggers that you can re-act to out of Love and not because someone hurt you and not create them out of, or as a result of, other people’s pain or yours and your self-doubt.
It can be a very, very slow process but learn to just take your time and if you are not entirely sure of your motives, then choose only what is kindest for you. You do have the rest of your life to practice and let the beautiful, kind and loving you take charge!
Of course, ultimately, you will never turn out perfectly in the eyes of the world but it is only truly how you see yourself that ultimately matters.
I am sure, when your buttons are pushed, just through brute force, much like I used to do, you would probably keep trying really, really hard to force yourself not to react negatively to what someone else was doing or what many of your chaotic, crazy and weird thoughts were leading you to believe that you should do. (They estimate that we have something like 70,000 chaotic thoughts a day). Whether it is someone’s facial twitch or someone’s eyes seem a little too dark or off centre – you don’t want them to know that you in anyway feel re-pulsed by them or that you are worried that they are being repulsed by you. Or you might be thinking, “they don’t have any right to treat me like this”, or “who do they think they are?”. Any of the myriad of thoughts, that can lead you down a destructive path, one that you would later regret and wonder to yourself, why did I do that? Or why did I say that – why did I react that way?
Ultimately, you start to discover that at the root of everything, only 100% of the time, you are re-pulsing (triggering) yourself, and you have the power to change this. Only now, you let your heart pound to the beat of your own powerful drums and not to all of the life’s conditioning and brainwashing that has brought you to this point in your existence.
And then just with tiny, tiny steps, you will realize that you can create new, healthy and loving triggers for yourself which in turn will produce an accompanying healthy re-action inside your body. Not a movement that would be created out of a shock to your system or a painful memory whether it seems to come from your pain or someone else’s. It’s all about awareness and even though it can seem that your reactions to each of life’s moments are instant, they are not. Being aware is not as hard as you may think. You can take the time to be settled and not instantly reply to any situation.
Whenever, I feel really, really troubled and I feel that I am being controlled by any of the thousands of unsettling thoughts that are running through my mind, I am blessed to have one thought that interjects itself in to the midst of all of these and it stops me dead and brings me back to sanity. It gives me pause and brings me back to the present moment to where life is meant to be lived.
“Be still and know that I am God.”
You don’t have to be religious or believe in God to have this kind of practice help you. I don’t believe in a God in the sky with a big long beard, who is constantly sitting in judgement of me but I do know for certain that someone, something put us all here and is looking after everything and has gotten me this far. And I choose to call whatever it is by the name of God. You could replace it with Jill, Joe, Jeff, Buddha, Zen, higher power or whatever…
It may help, as you start creating the new you, to put little reminder stickers on your wall, or stick one to the front of your computer, or keep a little note in your pocket. This alone will be one of your new healthy triggers to remind you that you are in control and that no one can really hurt you but you and you have decided that you are tired of suffering. You have the power to be who you want to be and you are not at the mercy of all of your previous conditioning. Your note might just be one word like “wait” or “love” or “presence” or anything meaningful for you that will remind you that you are not at the mercy of some autonomic reaction and you have the power to show the best you. It will give you that split second, to choose lovingly your reaction to anything. Nowadays, I instantly think to myself, “is there any love in this reaction” and if not, I choose differently.
Let me know how you make out. Please connect with me if you have any questions, or if you just want to chat or just discuss how your day is going. Please know when you are feeling troubled and reach out to someone, it not only almost always has the potential to help you, but it elevates and lifts the person you are reaching out to. It is nothing short of a privilege to share this life’s journey with each other…
(See connection choices on my “Contact” or “Let’s Chat” pages.)
Please enter your email address below, if you are interested in seeing more of what I am sharing – thanks so much!